End Note Page 10

  “I wanted a minute to talk to you before the rest of the guys woke up. To apologize for letting things go a little too far this morning.”

  She shrugged and moved over to sit down on the closed lid of the toilet. “Don’t worry about it.” Her cup found her lips again.

  I closed the door and slid down to sit on the floor. “That’s the problem. I am worried about it. I like you, Murphy. I kinda like you a lot, and I’m not sure if that makes me sound like a complete idiot for admitting it to you, but I don’t want to play games with you. You deserve more than that.”

  Murphy seemed to sit up a little straighter as her finger tapped against the side of the mug for a moment before she spoke. “Jared, you and I…that’s not gonna happen. Friends, sure. Anything else, no. I don’t date rock stars. I won’t date rock stars. I appreciate you helping me last night after my nightmare, but that’s it.”

  She was a passable liar. What she failed to understand was the fact that I’d grown up around Riley. I could see more than she could hide. “Murphy, you’re a terrible liar, but I understand. You’re scared, and I don’t blame you. Once you figure out that I’m not that guy, I’ll be waiting.”

  I made myself get up off the floor. Taking a step closer to her, I crouched down and put my hand under her chin. When she looked up at me, I placed a kiss to her forehead. I left the bathroom without looking back, needing her to stew on what I’d said. I wanted her to know that not all guys were complete douches. I’d meant what I said—I’d wait for her.

  THE BUS RIDE TO OKLAHOMA City took a while. Movies, video games, and a couple of stops filled the time. Yet, I felt antsy. I was ready to be onstage again. Murphy informed us that the list of songs hadn’t changed. Practicing was optional, since we’d covered all of it before. I let it slide, and so did the others. They’d checked out a while ago, just riding the ride until it was over, but I wanted so much more out of my first experience. If Little Rock had the same song list, I’d bang my head against a wall. It wasn’t like we were touring for our own concert. That I could understand—if we were playing the same songs from a new album. Music fests should be a compilation of music to get the crowd on their feet.

  When we arrived in Oklahoma, we were a day early, but the venue allowed us to park in one of their off-site lots until the following day.

  Jeff parked the bus, and we unloaded. Murphy had her phone up to her ear and, from the sound of it, had called for a cab.

  I grabbed my phone and shot off texts to Mark and Josh.

  Each answered me back. I wandered away from the bus to find a shady area, but I stayed close enough to keep an eye on Murphy as I caught up with how things were going for them. Mark raved about New York and bitched about how hardheaded Paige was. I knew the feeling. Murphy would be hard to catch, but so worth it in the end. Josh’s answers were weird… or weirder than normal for him. Something was up with him, but he was keeping it guarded like Fort Knox. The only way to get it out of him was a face-to-face confrontation. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t happen for a while. It seemed like we were all dealing with something that plucked away at our thoughts—none of us ready to lay it all out. Well, besides Mark, but I’d known about how it was for him and Paige. He’d just need to keep at it with her, the same way I’d have to with Murphy.

  A cab rolled up ten minutes after Murphy placed the call. Oliver caught up with her before she could get in. It looked like she argued with him, but in the end, he slid in the cab, forcing her to move or he’d sit on her. A twinge of jealousy shot through me, but I knew Oliver going with her was better than her going off on her own.

  After the cab drove off, I enjoyed a little quiet time in the fresh air. As hot as it was, I didn’t want to be cooped up in the bus any longer.

  WHEN MURPHY AND OLIVER GOT back, the cab driver popped the trunk open. Oliver helped her unload what looked to be a steadily growing pile of bags.

  I wrapped up my texts, telling Mark and Josh I’d be in touch and would let them know when my schedule put me closer to where they were.

  Oliver’s arms were loaded when he passed by me. “I don’t know how she managed to pick up so much stuff in so little time, but damn if that girl ain’t a fast shopper.”

  Murphy was in the process of trying to fit what was left on the ground in her arms when Retro and Lars jogged over and grabbed them for her.

  I sped up to catch her, forcing her to stop and hand over the bags cutting into her arms. “You were gone for like forty-five minutes. What in the hell did you buy?”

  She gave them up without an argument and walked beside me, leaving enough room between us so that we wouldn’t accidentally touch. “I had to replace my clothes.”

  I winced at the venom of her words, even though they weren’t directed at me. “I hope you bought something purple.”

  “Purple?”

  I shot her a grin when I saw her look of confusion. “Yeah, it’s my favorite color. What’s yours?”

  “Black, like my heart.” She picked up her pace, leaving me behind.

  Damn, that hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to.

  When I got on the bus, Murphy was sorting through the bags. Licks tried snatching one, but her hand shot out, smacking him. “Hold on, damn it. Not all of this is for you!”

  “Dang, Murphy, what the hell? Did you get me anything? All I see is clothes for you. I’m diggin’ the color selection though.” He dodged her and yanked a bag off the table, pulling out a purple shirt that shimmered with dots of silver glitter.

  I waited until I dropped the bags on the table before I leaned in and whispered low enough for it to rumble between us. “Purple, huh?”

  She stiffened but kept sorting through the bags.

  Licks held it up to his chest. “This shirt is see-through, Murph! Gasp!”

  I grabbed it from Licks and rubbed the soft material in between my thumb and forefinger before I handed it back to Murphy. “You should have bought one for Licks. He could wear it on stage with his guy-liner.”

  Licks gave me the finger. “Har-har, Bama.”

  Murphy turned, bag in hand forgotten. “Bama?”

  I beamed a huge grin at her. “Roll tide!”

  She rolled her eyes at me as Licks slapped me on the back. “Don’t feel bad, Bama. She only rolls her eyes at those of us she actually likes. Come on, I wanna run through a few songs with you.”

  I dragged my gaze from Murphy, following him back to grab our guitars.

  Licks stopped in front of me after I pulled Stella from her case. “I don’t know a whole lot about you, Jared, but I’m gonna say this once and only once. If you’re just looking for someone to fuck, Murphy’s not the one. The guys and I, we’ve taken on bigger and badder dudes who’ve tried.”

  Did they know about Ed? “Licks, I have no intention of hurting her. I don’t know what’s happening between us. I don’t even know if there’s anything happening at all for that matter, but it’s between her and me. Your interference, while noble, isn’t needed or wanted.” I stepped around him, walking back to the living room. Damn, there was nowhere on the bus where you could have a moment’s privacy. We were living in each other’s back pockets. I’d do well to remember that.

  I crisscrossed my legs on the couch, resting Stella on my leg. If nothing else, I could at least lose myself in a few songs. Licks sat on the other couch, a six-string Takamine that had seen better days in his hand. Attached to the neck, past the Nut, was a tuner. He plucked at the strings and adjusted the keys. Once he was in tune, he tossed the small tuner to me, and I made a few minor adjustments to Stella.

  “So what do you wanna start with?” I asked.

  Licks leaned over and plucked a notepad off the table, flipping it open to a list of songs. “I wrote a few down and figured if you and I could practice them, then Retro and Lars would be able to sit down and go over them with us.”

  I pulled the notepad closer so I could see what he’d written. There were a few songs I didn’t know on his list, but the others
were ones I wouldn’t have a problem playing. “Even if we practiced them, do you honestly think Murphy would allow us to stray from Woody’s list?”

  Licks smirked and pulled the notepad back, tapping his finger against the paper. “That’s the best part. It would be like one final fuck you to Woody. Gawd, that would be perfect too, right, to see him fired up ’cause we went out our way. One last jab at him for being such a fuckin’ douche.”

  My arms settled in on the curve of Stella as I thought about what he wanted to do. “I’m game switching out songs, but how do we pick which ones?”

  Licks tossed the notebook on the table. I could see the excitement that vibrated his entire body. “It needs to be us, ya know… like our favorite songs. All of us, even Murphy. Right…? That would be fuckin’ epic.” He stopped short, his finger tapping a fast beat against his lip. “Only, how would we find out what Murphy’s favorite song is? I mean, she’d put it all together, right…? If we were back here practicing it every day.” He slapped the top of his guitar. “Damn, I guess I didn’t think that all the way through, huh? Let’s just get our favorites together, and we’ll see if we can pull off Murphy’s. Either that, or we can pick a song that reminds us of her.”

  “You realize that our picks could put our song choices in all different genres, right?”

  Licks strummed the first notes of a Garth Brooks’ song. “Even better!”

  I couldn’t help but laugh along with him. It was contagious and full of mischievousness. The guys trickled in, and it became an impromptu jam session. Oliver poked his head in a few times, and once Murphy made her way back to where we were, he leaned against the wall, tapping his foot with the beat. Lars rapped his hands against the table, floor, and his leg, keeping time with us. Retro provided a melodic beat as he mimicked the bass line.

  Licks called out for requests, and we played it if we knew it. Oliver asked for a classic rock number, Lars wanted a Nirvana song, and Retro passed his request on to Murphy. “Come on, Murphy, what song do you wanna hear?”

  She waved him off. “Play whatever. I’m just a captive audience.”

  “Come on, Murphy, don’t you have a favorite? We’ll kill it for ya.” Licks strummed a run of bullshit cords as he tilted his head like she’d whisper it to him.

  She shoved his arm. “Now I’m really not telling you. I can’t have you killing it!”

  Retro groaned. “Aw, come on, Murphy. You have to have a favorite!”

  She shot him a smug look. “Fine. How about “A Thousand Years”?”

  Retro screwed his face up and looked to Licks. “You know that one?”

  Licks rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I’ve never played it.”

  My hands went to work over the strings, and I zeroed in on Murphy, calling her bluff. Licks turned to face me, following along with the chords. My eyes never left her. It paid off having a girl best friend with an eclectic choice of music. Watching Murphy tip her head back while her lips moved along with the words made my chest swell with pride.

  When the song wrapped up, Murphy checked her watch, and then popped up from the floor. “Who wants pizza?”

  She left the living room under the shouts of agreement. Licks slid the notebook across the table to Lars. “I had an idea. Grab a pen and write down your favorite song. You too, Retro.”

  “Too bad we don’t have a piano player,” I said as I strummed the first chords of a song that sounded better with the accompaniment.

  Oliver cleared his throat. “I can play the piano.”

  “No shit?” Retro leaned back and looked at Oliver with astonishment. “Big dude like you can tickle the ivories?”

  Oliver shrugged. “I wasn’t always just a badass.”

  That got a laugh from all of us.

  Licks darted a look at me. “Might have to fill him in on our plan.”

  “What plan?” Lars asked, sliding the notebook back at Licks.

  “Our one-finger salute to Woody,” Licks said, whispering as he made sure Murphy wasn’t where she could hear him.

  On the other end of the bus, Murphy ordered the pizza. Her clipped voice could be heard over Licks.

  “That’s why I need your favorite songs. I wanna make sure Bama and I have time to learn them, and then we can practice together. We should have a couple of stops where we can jam like this, minus the drums, until we can carve out a day to let you get in some practice, Lars.”

  Lars nodded. “We can shoot for right after Montgomery. I overheard Murphy talking to Woody. It’s looking like we might have a week or so before another show is booked. I think Woody’s holding out until he secures the opening act for Dead Galaxy.”

  “Pizza will be here in thirty,” Murphy said as she made her way down the hall. In her hands, she carried a six-pack. She handed a beer each to us, moved around Licks, and sat down on the couch. Tucking her feet under her, she tipped her beer to her lips. When she noticed she had all of our attention, she brought the beer back down. “What?”

  “Could it be true? Are you really loosening up on us, Murph?” Licks leaned over and clinked the neck of his beer to hers. “It’s about damn time.”

  Murphy laughed and tipped her beer at all of us. “To life on the road in a bus full of testosterone.”

  Licks didn’t miss a beat. He strummed out a song about life on the road, and we were all singing along. Even Murphy joined in.

  My cell phone lit up. Riley’s picture flashed on the screen, drawing Murphy’s gaze to it. I stretched my arm out and silenced it. I’d call her back later, when I had a chance. And selfishly, I was enjoying myself. Murphy sat only a few feet from me, smiling, allowing herself to let go for a few minutes, and having fun with us. And she was having fun, her hand tapped the beat against her leg, her head swayed - she was in the moment and it was intoxicating to watch.

  AFTER WE INHALED OUR PIZZA, the guys settled in to play some kind of war game. I wasn’t interested in sitting in on the smack talk while the rapid fire and explosions rocked the surround-sound speakers. After being cooped up in the bus most of the day, I wanted to stretch my legs while I could.

  Murphy was outside, sitting at a picnic table someone had dragged over by the bus. She was hunched over a notebook, scribbling furiously. Like the words were pouring out of her faster than her fingers could keep up. I stopped to watch her for a moment, and then decided to take a walk.

  The air was warm, kind of dry. Oklahoma was so different from home and definitely something I wasn’t used to. Summer in Alabama was muggy. Songwriters wrote about it, glorifying it by calling it sultry. There was nothing sultry about sweating. Or maybe they used it to describe being outside under the stars. One of those nights that your heart raced, and you were about to climb out of your skin for wanting to bury yourself inside the girl who was just crazy enough to be sitting beside you in that same sultry summer air. The thought made my heart stutter because I could picture Murphy sitting beside me in the back of a truck.

  “Where you going?” Her voice halted me, and I swung around to face her.

  Where was I going? I had no idea, but I had her full attention, so I’d use it to my advantage. “For a walk. Come with me.”

  She closed the notebook in front of her. “Let me put this inside.”

  Murphy had agreed to come with me. I couldn’t believe it.

  When she stepped down from the bus, I bent my arm, offering it to her. She laughed and shook her head. “I think I can walk unassisted.”

  I frowned at her.

  “Thanks for the offer though.”

  My hands found their way into my pockets, forcing myself to look on the bright side. At least she’d agreed to walk with me.

  We were silent for a little, walking side by side on freshly mown grass. Breathing in the sweet tang of it filled my lungs, clearing my thoughts. I could close my eyes and almost pretend I was anywhere. The sun, however, showed no mercy overhead, making my shirt stick to my back.

  Ahead of us, the leaves of a giant maple tree danced in
the wind. The shade it provided looked inviting. It would be a great place to sit down and talk.

  Instantly cooler by several degrees in the shade, I sat down, stretched out my legs, and propped myself up on my elbows. My shoulder gave a slight twinge from the pressure, so I scooted back and leaned against the tree.

  Murphy watched me settle in, shaking her head as she arched a brow. “What are you doing?”

  I squinted, looking up at her. “Sitting.”

  When she rolled her eyes at me and huffed, I smiled and patted the ground next to me.

  She bit her lip, turning to look back the way we came. “We should probably get back.”

  I hummed a non-communicative noise at the back of my throat and closed my eyes, tipping my head back to rest on the ridged tree bark.

  I heard her huff, followed by the sound of her settling down somewhere beside me. Cracking one eye open, I found her sitting down by my feet. Her legs were drawn up close to her chest, her arms wrapped tight around them like a statue.

  I nudged her with the tip of my shoe. “Ya know, the point of finding a good shade tree is to relax.”

  She peered over her shoulder at me. “I am relaxing.”

  I closed my eyes again, folding my hands in my lap. “No, you’re not.”

  She snorted, turning her head away.

  Above us, a bird squawked away as if in agreement with me. The soft breeze picked up, rustling the leaves. The soothing noises made me relax a little more. The rough bark pushed harder against my skin, but I didn’t care. I’d found a bit of solace, and I’d take it all in while I could.

  “How do you do it?” Murphy’s voice cut into the tranquil air.

  “Do what?” I asked, not bothering to open my eyes.

  “Find some sort of peace, no matter where you are,” she said. Her words, softly spoken, were so light that they could have been lost in the light breeze.

  “That’s a pretty deep question for a guy just trying to relax,” I said, chuckling.

  Her hand slapped at my shoe, and I opened my eyes to look at her. There was a pinched expression on her face as she watched me, like she was trying to figure me out.